Be Aware of How Others Are Measuring You

Here’s a life-altering leadership lesson:

We measure ourselves based on our intentions. The rest of the world measures us based on our behavior.

This quick video shows just how stark a difference there can be between these two: based on an experience I had at a funeral visitation.


It’s a line we’ve often heard but should listen to with a new awareness: “You must be present to win!”

We can sleepwalk through or wing it with important communications: written, verbal and in person. We’re already thinking about the 27 other things we need to be doing after this, which can mean we aren’t present in the moment.

How much have we missed when this happens?

How have we short-changed others who needed a bit of our time to be seen and heard, so they can go off and do their best?

And how much faster and better could we have achieved our goals if we’d slowed down a bit and been more aware now?

I’m very guilty of needing this reminder: “When you’re in a hurry, slow down!”

Take that extra minute (literally!) to answer these questions:

  1. What are my values?
  2. What kind of actions would express my values in this situation?

When we do this, it engages our unconscious mind. This is important, because our conscious minds can only process between 10-50 bits of information per second. Our unconscious minds can handle upward of 14 million!

When we ask ourselves these questions, our unconscious mind chews on the answers and bubbles up ideas we didn’t even know we had. Invite both your minds to work on getting you what you want — including being the leader you wish to be in that moment.

Perhaps one of your values is “I treat others with respect.” Let’s say you’re about to go into a performance evaluation with someone who has fallen short of her/his/their goals.

Now you will start finding ways to have this conversation without punishing that person. This could allow you to be very clear about the actions you saw, rather than being judgmental, and asking that person’s opinion on what are the best ways to improve his/their/her performance.

You’ve heard that your personal brand is how people describe you when you’re not in the room. Never be too busy to exemplify your values so others see and know them — and you.